is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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