i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
