Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
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NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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