I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
