Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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