im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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