...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
