Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
two words: eviction party
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
