She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
