then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
