I want to stick my p in your. b.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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