the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
