her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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