I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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