nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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