we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
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She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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