six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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