somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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