did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
