if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
