Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
