just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize