Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize