from now on my penis is your penis
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
