I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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