I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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