shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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