Porn is love you can see.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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