guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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