Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry brigantia hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

i would punch a child for taco bell

Fav 41 5931 1400
share tweet
(253): View more from Washington

she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?

Fav 22 2105 4274
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.

Fav 39 1130 3362
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight

Fav 11 4058 1185
share tweet
(347): View more from New York

He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.

Fav 4 976 3050
share tweet
(641): View more from Iowa

Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.

Fav 4 2354 1811
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

Fav 13 3020 894
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.

Fav 1 45 46
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night

Fav 0 10 48
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT