just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
