I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
