Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
