noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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