On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
