let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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