well you can't waste a boner
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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