don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
