I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
