I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize