i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
