Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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