Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
