i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize