My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you will always have a special place in my vag
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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