do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
