found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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