Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Randomize
