i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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