We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
