How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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