I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize