No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize