Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
