you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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