I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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