no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
