question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
