I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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