worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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