Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
